Hello from the dead week of the year, when all sane people have logged off to spend time with their families. This is when I typically write at least one deeply weird post while I’m working over the holiday. One time I got left alone on New Year’s Day and posted about cats all day and people got very mad! No one let me run the site alone anymore after that.

I’m supposed to give you some inkling of what I am willing to talk about but even I don’t know what my beat is anymore. I am somehow our business reporter, our in-house media critic, our heavy metal expert, our long-running (and long-suffering) Elon Musk personality disorder specialist, and additionally I also run a sideline of writing about pop culture, policy, and legal issues, including fraud trials. Sometimes I review outdoorsy tech as an excuse to go backpacking for two weeks. Anyway, Verge subscribers can ask me anything and the rest of you can fuck right off.

I will begin answering questions at 1PM ET.